Welp, I'm pretty bored and I should be studying for my finals but ain't nobody got time fo' that so I'm gonna do this survival survey thing.

COMMENCE.

1. You wake up in a place you've never seen or heard of before. What do you do?:
I would probably pee or something. I usually have to when I wake up.

2. You're running and you hear something behind you. What do you do?:
Keep running. I don't stop for anyone once I'm in the zone. And I'm definitely going to stop for something that's behind me. That shit could be a big ass spider.

3.You're getting hungry, but there's no food or water nearby, and something's chasing you.:
EAT WHATS CHASING ME. IT'S DINNER TIME.

4. What's your ideal weapon to use if you need to fight this thing?:
Fool, I don't need a weapon. My fists are weapons. I've got this.

Also, I would like to say that the person that did this before me answered with: "A scythe, or a pocket knife."
You can have a scythe or you can have a pocket knife. I guess there's no in-between.

5. There's someone or something at the end of a narrow corridor surrounded by shadow. Do you try to team with it or avoid it? If you team with it, go to 6. If you avoid it, go to 7.: Wait. Corridor?
I thought I was in like, a jungle.
This changes everything.
I would break a window or something and get out. End of story.
But I guess I would avoid it.

6. You try to recruit it, and turns out that it's a monster. Do you run or fight?

7. Good thing you avoided it, there's no other human here.
OH SNAP.
I GOT THE SURVIVAL SKILLS TO PAY THE BILLS.

8. Suddenly, it gets darker. You have a flash light, but it's out of battery. Do you look for batteries or go on instincts?:  
Pftsh. Batteries, yo.
I don't have any instincts in the dark.
That's when everything shuts down.

9. You're cornered by the thing that was chasing you, and it looks like your last stand. It doesn't seem to want to recruit you for anything, so surrender isn't an option. How do you fight it?:
I don't fight it.
I don't have a weapon other than my fists.
And those really aren't all that impressive.
Besides, I'm lazy.
So I'll just die.

The end.